14/01/2018 - Chunky But Funky



This posting daily thing hasn't gone to plan but to be honest nothing really has this week so it hasn't been personal. It's all 100% my fault though for being the most unorganised person on the planet when it comes to deadlines so I'm just hoping I can start Monday with a clean slate, even though I say this every Sunday eve. I mean even now I should be starting some work but I'm sitting here blogging because obvs showing you my new shoes is far higher on my list of priorities because I am a moron.


Shoes Office 

I really love Docs but they look bloody silly on me so I was on the lookout for something similarly chunky and boyish but just a bit less so, I went into Office to check out the Freddy brogues (if you think that was because of my Freddydog you are absolutely correct) but saw the Kennedys and it was like a moment, you know the ones. A few people have begged me to stop wearing my clumpy boots so these clumpy shoes are a good compromise, no?* Also, I'm enjoying this new lil tradition of buying shoes when I hit a post-transplant milestone (I'm now a year and a half, say whaaat!) you can read why this is a 'thing' here. I promise it's not just an excuse to go shoe shopping. Ok, I would have bought them anyway but still it's nice to have meaning behind them. 

*Disclaimer: I will never ever stop wearing my clumpy boots. All the better to kick away irritating people. 

xx 

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10/01/18 | Nothing's Gonna Touch You In These Golden Years


I remember exactly where I was when I heard of David Bowie's passing. I was in the High Dependency Unit at hospital, in limbo after being told I needed new lungs but not yet knowing if I was able to be listed. In short, not a Good Place. When I was thinking so much about my own mortality the fact that one of my idols had gone so suddenly was a huge shock, it was too mortal for someone so extraterrestrial. I felt so numb, which was weird because I'd never felt like that over the passing of a celebrity before.


Except Bowie wasn't just a celebrity, he was a true icon to me and so many others. I grew up listening to him as my mum is a huge fan, I remember looking at her records and being in awe of this strange man with the different coloured eyes. His music brings back so many memories of childhood, from singing along to Sound & Vision in the back of the car to bopping around the living room to China Girl when I thought no one could see me. Doing the dance to Golden Years from A Knight's Tale with my friends in the playground and practising my catwalk to Fashion (again, when I thought no one was there!) Of course Labyrinth must be mentioned. As I got older I began to appreciate him as a person too. He showed us it was ok to be a bit strange and different, as someone who always felt like (and still do in many ways) I don't quite always fit in with the crowd it was comforting. The press vilified him in the early days but still he carried on doing his thing.

So I sat there in HDU feeling heartbroken yet at the same time thankful for the joy he provided me over the years and for the many hours I'd spent escaping whatever stress was going on in my life by listening to his music. I decided that if I got my second chance at life I was going to try be a little more Bowie - live how I wanted to and worry less about others opinions. And that's exactly what I'm doing now I have these new lungs! So thank you Starman for inspiring me to live my best life. I think we could all try and be a little more Bowie.

xx
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08/01/17 - 'I'm just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking it to love her.'



I'm in a bit of a chatty mood aka procrastinating wildly - but I've decided to turn this blog back into a little diary that I'm going to try and do daily because I'm too lazy to do my actual real life journal. I know it's *supposed* to be all quality over quantity in blogging but actually the number one rule is to enjoy it. I said in my January Goals I wanted to do some writing purely for me, even if it is just something silly - in fact most of these posts are silly, I don't think I've ever offered any wisdom on here but that's ok as it's better left to people are who are better at articulating their thoughts. But I'd rather just document my life the way I used to blog and if anyone likes it then that's cool but it's also cool if not because at least I have a lil online scrapbook to look back on!

Hat Nine by Savannah Miller (alternative here) Coat Pull & Bear Jeans GAP customised by me Shoes Converse

So I came back to Brighton on Friday, the fridge had been turned off so everything was rotten but other than that mishap all is good. Sunday was spent feeling v sad and ill and tearful until I realised it was just because of an iron infusion I'd had at Harefield last week then I felt ridiculous and snapped out of it. Bloody drugs! Don't do em kids. But today was better, I was at the library which is now open until MIDNIGHT - this pleases geeky me immensely. I swear to God every time I go to the library I see at least three people from my course on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But me, I had to research a guy called Demetre Chiparus who was apparently 'one of the most important sculptors of the Art Deco era' according to Wikipedia. I declare this a lie because if it were true I'd be able to find more goss on him and I fooking can't. But in more successful news I submitted an essay that I've been working on for months and although I'm glad to see the back of it I get more worried than I used to about handing stuff in - I feel like they'd be reading it like 'Wowowowow, 24 and still an absolute dumbass' hahaha.


Before I go I'll just leave a link for these bargain Folk and Frame dupes if you too fancy donning them with a beret à la Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. 

xx

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January Goals



I know I just did a little resolutions post but I have goals that are more specific for this month too. Actually I don't see why they're particular to January but never mind, here they are!

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