Hey, Hey!

Hallo! Just thought I'd check in on the small chance anyone was actually wondering where I'd disappeared to ;) as you can probably guess it was another hospital stay. I knew it was on the cards because I just couldn't breathe but I wasn't expecting there to be a bed available that day when I went to clinic on the 2nd June so I wasn't really prepared! But I was there for just over three weeks to be reunited with my old friend Optiflow.

Optiflow cystic fibrosis
This is oxygen that is heated as it's more comfortable to breathe in (although the tubes are a bit of a 'mare to wear!) and it also acts like a steamer for me as it helps to unclog the rubbish on my lungs.

I could go into my stay and how my right lung got so clogged up at the bottom it didn't work and I couldn't breathe but honestly I just want to leave it all behind me. I know a big part of this blog is about raising awareness of Cystic Fibrosis but right now I don't want to think about how ill I got and how ill I am, I just need a bit of a break I think. I've had a bad year healthwise and we're not really sure if this just the longest blip ever or if things are going downhill now which to be honest is a scary thought, I don't like this being in limbo business. This is probably the most pathetic sentence I'm ever going to write but I've been feeling a bit emotionally drained by it all, I've been feeling a bit dragged down. I'm sure I'll get over these feelings now I'm home again though, I'm still on my home oxygen and IVs but from now on I'm going to be sticking to my super strict hospital regime and I'm hoping it'll make a difference. I've always been really compliant with my meds and treatment but this is all more intense and time consuming. I think it'll be worth it though!

Not only must I do it for me but also my family! I could've spent the whole time sulking about the things I missed out on - the dressmaking course I was going to start, a night out with my friends, loads of cool blog events and most annoyingly of all my niece Florrie's christening </3 just to name a few things BUT my family are just the best. They do everything to make hospital as least crummy as possible so I had lots of help and visits and treats. There's also a really nice park behind the hospital so they'd get a wheelchair and portable oxygen for me and we'd go out for a walk. When I get ill it doesn't just affect me but also my family, probably more so I'd say because they have all the worry. But I'm just so lucky to have them and my friends, I don't think I'd get through any of this without them. We had a big BBQ yesterday which was also to say goodbye to my grandparents who are back off to Ireland today after coming for the Christening. I'm sad I didn't get to see as much of them because of being in hospital but hopefully I'll be well enough to go over to see them later in the year.

But anyway now I'm back I want to blog again because I missed it loads! Luckily I could catch up with everyone's posts in hospital with the bloglovin' app on my phone but I can't wait to get commenting again. 

How have you been? Hope you're enjoying the sun now it's finally arrived!

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92 comments:

  1. daisychaindream28 June 2015 at 17:22

    Aw, you've been in my thoughts a lot lately missus, glad to see a post from you xx

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  2. Oh sweetie now I want pray for you
    And I´m going to do that every day
    All my support for you
    You are very brave!
    xx

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  3. Aw Josie, so glad to see you back on the blog again. Had my fingers crossed for you! You're such a strong person and amazing at raising awareness of CF on this blog. I'm a big believer that after a crappy time, there's always something better round the corner :) x

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  4. Oh Josie, I just want to give you the biggest (but gentlest hug) ever, you are such a brave and inspirational lady and it's so understandable to be feeling drained so please don't feel like you have to justify it <3 You're in my thoughts lovely and I really hope things get a little better for you soon. So pleased to hear you have a lovely, supportive family around you and I'll look forward to seeing some new posts from you :) :)
    All my love,
    Holly xxxxx


    www.thehollydays4.blogspot.co.uk

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  5. Thinking of you in Kansas City, Missouri, USA <3

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  6. It's good to see you back on your blog, and I'm sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Hopefully being at home will help make you feel better, and I can totally understand why you feel drained! Fingers crossed everything gets better soon xx


    www.bethanlikes.com

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  7. Josie it's good to see you back posting. I hope you're okay, stay strong! xx


    Courtney | http://courtzmelv.com

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  8. I'm glad to here you're feeling better! It's nice to read see you posting again and I really can't wait to read your upcoming posts too! I completely agree that family and friends are the most important, they will get you through anything :)


    lissyhayes.co.uk

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  9. Aw I'm glad you've posted, sorry to hear that things have got bad, I really hope that it starts getting better for you :)

    Julia x

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  10. Elizabeth Murdock28 June 2015 at 20:19

    I hope you're feeling better, and sending all my love! x
    fashionismyfirstlangauge.blogspot.ie

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  11. Thinking of you Josie, so so sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Please try and stay positive, you will get better <3 xx

    Ioanna | Hearting.co.uk

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  12. So happy you're home lovely girl! So proud of you for remaining so strong, positive and upbeat throughout everything, you really are the bravest beauty out there! Such an inspiration to so many of us. Who could NOT look up to you? I seriously can't imagine anyone else out there having such an incredible attitude and outlook such as yourself :)


    Thinking of you Josie, sending you all the love in the world and looking forward to treating you to a well deserved meal. Incredibly proud of you as always my friend! Big hugs xo


    Sophie <3

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  13. nice jammmmies! i'm glad you're home now, it must be a constant wish for you! nice that you can snuggle with freddie and you saw your grandparents albeit briefly! glad youre home xxx

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  14. I've been thinking of you and I'm sending lots of love and well wishes your way! xx

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  15. Josie, I have just been thinking about you, and been meaning to get in touch but I know you have stuff that you've been dealing with. (((hugs)))) Thank you for updating us. It's good to hear from you. I just want you to know that your journey throughout this and how you deal with it have been really inspiring. As you can see from the comments below, you are loved by all of us who read your blog:)

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  16. Oh gosh you poor thing! Good to see you back and hope things are on the up. Can't imagine how tough this is for you xx

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  17. I'm thinking of you Josie - I hope you're getting back to normal.

    Lizzie Dripping

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  18. Josie - do you know how good it is to see an update from you?! I've been thinking about you for ages, hoping that you've been ok. I'm sorry it's been really crap for you and you know what? You just allow yourself to feel rubbish, scared etc because you are allowed, we are only human. But, if you want to move, then that is such a courageous thing to do and I admire you so much! I'm so glad you're feeling a little better anyway, and looking forward to reading your posts as always :) xxx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

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  19. Guuuuurrrrllll- I've totally been thinking of you!!
    It's so imp to have your family help you through all this- so glad they are there for you :)

    Nothing you wrote was/is remotely pathetic....you are strong & amazing!! So there :)))

    Looking forward to having you back in the blogging game :)
    x
    www.honeybelleworld.blogspot.co.uk

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  20. Ohh sweetheart, I hope you start to feel better pronto. I've missed you xxx

    Annabel ♥
    Mascara & Maltesers

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  21. I don't think it's pathetic to feel that way at all! It's very understandable. Being honest about how things make you feel makes it all much easier in my experience. It's all enough to go through without feeling embarrassed or guilty about the emotional toll it can take. All the best, Josie! xx

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  22. oh no! I hope you get better soon! :) Wishing you the best

    http://abeautifulheart07.blogspot.com/

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  23. Aw sweetie hope you get out of hospital soon, you're so brave I can't imagine what It must be like.


    Sounds like you have an amazing family taking care of you, hoping you get better soon.


    Gabby xo

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  24. Really hope you are feeling better now xx


    carlotarules.wordpress.com

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  25. Sorry to here about your hospital stay Josie. Glad you are home now and I bet Freddie-Poo is too! Also noticed you are really close to 1000 on BlogLovin' so exciting :D

    Love Hayley,

    Water Painted Dreams

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  26. I'm so sorry to hear about the rough time you are having. Thinking of you xx

    Beautylymin

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  27. You are such an inspiration - it's so lovely to see you raising awareness like this through your blog!!


    I'm sending you hugs and you're in my thoughts - you're a strong person and we are all here for you, supporting you!!! :)


    Layla xx


    www.sprinklesofstyle.co.uk

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  28. Oh it's so good to hear from you Josie! <3 Been thinking about you and hoping you were OK. Sorry to hear you've had such a pants time of it recently, but glad to hear you're out of hospital at last. Massive massive virtual cuddles sent your way xxx

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  29. This is really inspiring to just get up and do things because we're able to and just think of the positives! It's really nice to read that you're not letting it get to you too much. Hope you're slowly feeling better and getting well! x

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  30. I'm always blown away by your strength and positivity. I'm sending you lots of good vibes! You will get through this!!

    Tara X

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  31. I've been wondering about how you are, it's so good to see a post of yours again! Hope you're starting to feel better now after all that horribleness - I agree with Rhiannon, the only way is up and I think the best place to start is obv by treating yourself to a new handbag! xx

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  32. So glad to see you back Josie! It sucks that you had to stay in the hospital for that long, and I'm hoping that you're doing much better now. It does sound like you have an amazing support system in your family, which is priceless! :)

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  33. Oh, my dear, Josie, it really makes me happy to know you are better, I'll keep praying for you, you are such a brave and beautiful girl! Glad to know you are back, I've been really down lately and it sucks, but everything will be just fine, I have faith! Much love, María

    http://alemint.blogspot.com/

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  34. Samantha Mariko30 June 2015 at 08:52

    aww, I hope you are recovering! don't give up- we're all looking forward to your blogging <3 stay strong!
    www.samanthamariko.com

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  35. I'm so glad you're out of hospital and feeling happy and positive so great to see this post.

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  36. Oh my gosh I hope your health really improves from now on~ Stay strong and all your efforts will be worth it!

    BCfactor Blog

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  37. This was really emotional to read through, wishing you all the best lovely!<3


    X

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  38. Your positivity is incredible and I'm glad you're out of hospital now and hopefully at home recovering from another blip.
    You're never far from my mind, sending you all the good vibes.
    M x

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  39. Hope that you have many positive people around you to help you through what you're going through & lift your spirits x :(

    Katina | www.katinalindaa.com

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  40. Edita Lozovska1 July 2015 at 19:54

    God bless you, Josie, you are always in my thoughts ;)

    Edita

    www.pret-a-reporter.co.uk

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  41. Sending big hugs from Canada. Hope your big blip blips off and you get to enjoy the summer here on out!

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  42. I'm sorry you've been so poorly and I truly hope it's just a bit of a blip and that you'll feel loads better soon :) You're such an awesome person J, and I'm always wondering how you are - even my mum was asking the other week! If you're ever bored at home and want to do some sort of crafty project with me, I'd totally be up for that and I'd be super happy to donate some illustrations to raise awareness for cf, just give me a shout anytime! <3 Sending you happy thoughts! xxx

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  43. Hope you feel better soon Josie! Lots of love <3 x x x

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  44. So sorry to hear youve not been well, welcome back and i wish you the best of health.

    http://artadorned.com/

    I blog about jewelry and how to style jewelry with outfits, tell me what you think.

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  45. Thank you Laura! Hope you're good x

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  46. Thank you so much Rhiannon! It's true, life is full of ups and downs! x

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  47. Thank you so much for your lovely comment Holly! I hope you're as well as can be xx

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  48. Thank you Melissa! That's so cool to know I have a reader in Missouri too :) x

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  49. Thank you Bethan! Being at home has definitely helped millions x

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  50. Thank you so much Courtney! I hope you're well x

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  51. Thank you Lissy! It's very true, they are the most important people x

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  52. Thank you Julia! I think things are better already :) x

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  53. Thank you Ioanna! Always positive but realistic :) x

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  54. Sophie! Thank you so much lovely friend <3 Should see you soon hopefully! x

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  55. Emmy that's such a lovely comment, thank you! x

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  56. You always say the right thing! Thank you <3 x

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  57. Thank you lady! Really hope you're doing ok atm x

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  58. Thank you so much Emily, you're right it does make it much easier x

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  59. Thank you Gabby! Am home now :) x

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  60. Thank you Hayley! Eeeee, I know - I'm such a loser, we all know it's not about numbers blah blah blah BUT there'll be something so satisfying about reaching those 4 digits haha! x

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  61. This is such a kind comment, thank you so much Layla! x

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  62. Thank you Tara! Believe me though I do have mini meltdowns too haha! x

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  63. Thank you Sarah! Ahhh man I would, if only my taste wasn't as expensive haha x

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  64. Thank you Paula! I do, I'm very lucky :) x

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  65. That's really kind, thank you. I so hope you're feeling better and happier now! x

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  66. Carly this is such a sweet comment, thank you so much! And thank you to your mum for thinking of me! That's such a lovely offer, I'll be in touch for sure if anything comes up - thank you!! x

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  67. Thank you so much Beth! They really are the best x

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  68. We did miss you. It is good to have you back. Sounds rubbish and I can see why you don't want to go back and remember it all again. Hopefully you have some lovely things to look forward too Lucy x

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