CF | Work Worries

Duvet Days with Freddy and comfy, lazy outfits.

Hi! So first of all, I changed my blog's name to 'Josie's Journal' which I know is a bit boring but more suited to the blog than 'Josie Loves Shoes' I guess (although I still love shoes. A lot.) Plus I get massively bored of things quickly, I'm surprised I stuck to the same name for so long! I'm stuck with my domain name for now, one day I'll change it but for now I'm not too bothered. Anyway, onto the point of this post! 

The one thing that makes me proud about this blog is the fact that I think I've managed to raise some awareness of Cystic Fibrosis and what it's like to live with on a day to day basis. However sometimes I think posting an OOTD and then going on to talk about CF is a bit out of place so I'd like to dedicate a post once a week purely to CF...the (occasional) good, the bad and the ugly. Mainly for my own sanity because I find that talking about it on here stops me from getting the mean reds but if anyone finds it informative or if anyone else with CF or another chronic illness can relate then that's good! I try to keep this blog light hearted but sometimes I'll probably have a bit of a paddy but you know, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to right? ;)

And I'm afraid I'm a bit of a rambly mess right now, I'm not dealing with CF as well as I could be. It happens every winter, it's gotten much worse since I got a job. I don't care about feeling crappy, it's the missing time off work that I hate. I'm very aware that I'm just a part time sales advisor and that the place won't go to pot without me but I still feel guilty. Every time I pick up the phone to call in sick I just dread it so much, I couldn't ask for better bosses because they're so lovely and understanding but it must be really annoying for me to not turn up again and again. I'm having doubts about whether I can even manage the actual job any more because it's so physical. I leave my house at 1 and don't get home until after midnight and that whole time I'm on my feet running around because seeing as it's a flagship on Oxford Street it's crazy busy. I find it exhausting which I just thought was laziness on my part but even the part timers without CF say they find it tiring. I think maybe a job closer to home or one with less hours would be better, but at the same time I know I'm so lucky to have brilliant bosses and I do actually like where I work. When I feel really well I'm absolutely fine but I'm not often feeling that good. Most of me just wants to carry on and get on with it but a little part of me wonders if I need to be a bit more realistic. I feel like that's a very defeatist attitude though! I think I'm gonna have a word with my CF team, I keep thinking that the constant tiredness I feel is just me being lazy and unfit so I wanna ask them if it's a normal CF thing to feel like this because I just feel like a bum. What if they turn around and are just like 'No, you're a lazy cow!' haha! The shame. And I feel like I should know the answer anyway, like I'm asking a #stupidcfquestion but I just never really ask questions at clinic so maybe it's about time I did! But I guess for now all I can do is have cuddles with Freddykins and stay cosy,  I'll just try and stop worrying about being such a letdown too because there's not much I can do about it I suppose...it's hard though, I'm such a worrier!

Josie x


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20 comments:

  1. I know it's difficult but I think your bosses hired you for exactly this reason. You HATE not being able to go in meaning you're clearly serious and dedicated to your job. Employers have difficulty finding that characteristic in someone, so they won't pass you up! Aside from work, I hope you're enjoying some of the festive season! xxx

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  2. Sending you bundles of cuddles xo

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  3. Love the new name..
    big hugs and hope that you will feel better

    http://livelifeamour.blogspot.com

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  4. New name is fun! I'm jealous you work in a flagship store on OXFORD STREET?! that's so cool, I got through to the interview part of topshop's chrismas staff and if I didn't live in somerset half the time i'd of snapped it up! although I would of spent too much working on oxford street- how do you restrain yourself?! not fun to hear that you're poorly, but you do always have to put your health first! I wrecked my second year of uni as I did't sort it out :s i'm sure your bosses know how dedicated you are, could you not get different hours? 11-6?! hope it sorts out xxxx

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  5. I love the new name and your header is so cute! It's a shame to hear that you're so poorly at the moment :( Maybe if you spoke to your bosses about getting different hours because I'm sure they would understand and they obviously still want you to work there! Put your health first though and I hope you're feeling a bit better soon

    Julia xxx

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  6. Josie, don't ever feel like that. It's all in your head. Believe me. I used to be like that and this hurt no one else but me (and made my sickness worse, too). instead I concentrated on strong performance on the days I was well. And this was much more memorable to employers than the feeling of guilt, uselessness and sadness.
    You've got it in ya, Jose! Don't let CF win, make yourself shine instead ;)
    E xx

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  7. What a gorgeous new layout & name, I love it <3

    You should definitely be immensely proud of yourself for raising awareness of CF. I definitely agree with Samantha's point- you are dedicated to your job and nowadays that is certainly worth a lot to an employee. Am sure the CF clinic will be happy to take on any question (and like you say you never usually ask) so bet they won't mind! Maybe that will then give you a clearer idea about what route to go down career wise. Best of luck hun, we're all rooting for you! <3

    Sophie xox soinspo <3 xxx

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  8. Aw Josie, you shouldn't feel like a bum at all! I seem to have a permanent cold this winter and all I ever want to do is crawl into bed, eat chocolate and sleep, so I can only imagine how tiring it must be for you. Especially as your part time hours appear to be more like a full day's work if you leave at 1 and don't get back til midnight! If your bosses are understanding try not to worry and enjoy snuggling up with Freddie then take full advantage of the days that you do feel a bit better :) xx

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  9. Your bosses sound lovely and understanding, and you clearly care about your job, so don't feel like a bum! Enjoy your snuggles with Freddy :) xx

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  10. Freddy is so cute! I really hope you feel better soon, it must be so frustrating, but i'm sure it'll pass! Winter always makes me feel so sluggish, I can't imagine how hard it must be with CF as well- you're so strong! Thank you for your comment on my blog too!
    xx
    vincent-vows.blogspot.com

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  11. (((((HUGS))))), Josie. I understand how you're feeling guilty about the whole "missing work" but it's a good thing that you do have great bosses who understand.
    PS I love the new blog title:)

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  12. loving the new name and the cute little pic! It will be weird not seeing 'Josie Loves Shoes' at the top of the page though hahah
    No way should you feel like a lazybum, it must be really frustrating that you really want to go to work but literally can't, but the fact that you worry so much about it shows how much you care which means you are the complete opposite of lazy! You should definitely just rest until you feel well enough again and try not to worry xx

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  13. Hugs. It sounds like even well people are struggling to do the job so you should give yourself a massive pat on the back for doing it. I guess the question is, all tiredness and feeling shite taken into account, is it worth it to be working there? If it's not worth the hassle then maybe something a bit closer to home is the answer, but that's still not a cop out. x x x

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  14. Awww Josie! I hope your CF team can help you decide what to do. A 1pm - midnight shift sounds hella tough for anyone, even if they're 100% fighting fit! If you can find a store with nice management nearby, I know I'd go for that. You're so hardcore! Feel better soon dude. <3

    Tara xo

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  15. Oh doll, you're such a sweetie. Sending loads of love your way, your already stressful-sounding job is compounded by your illness <3 I'm glad your bosses are understanding, though you definitely shouldn't feel bad about calling in sick. You're so strong, but even warriors like yourself need to take a break sometimes. xx

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  16. Don't feel guilty at all, I can tell you right now I'd struggle with a 1pm until after midnight day full of running around constantly and I don't have CF! Sending will wishes you way! <3

    Jennie xo | sailorjennie.com

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  17. I really like the new name, and the new banner for that matter (yay the pink coat!!) Fab job by Hannah :) PLEASE don't ever worry about being a rambly mess as we all love your rambles haha!
    I'd love to read more about CF from your perspective too, as it's so important to raise awareness and learn about different people's lives and their perspectives on stuff. Especially when illness is involved as it can often give patients quite a unique perspective on a lot of things, and that's primarily what blogging is about right?!
    And with the work thing, I'd try and change your hours or get a job closer to home. No job is more important than your health lovely :) xxx

    http://everythingandthegirlxo.blogspot.co.uk/

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  18. Cool effortless look. Great jeans and jumper.
    Adela x

    misspinkstyle.net

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