Sick day selfie with Freddydog
Hi! How are you? I don't even know how anyone is because I haven't read blogs for a bit (my bloglovin' feed is ridiculously long now!) so do tell me...I wanna catch up!
I miss reading blogs but I've basically felt too pooped to even sit on the laptop, reading is too much effort haha. I've mainly been bingewatching The Sopranos because it's only on the Sky iplayer thing until October and there are 86 episodes to get through! My brother has the boxset but he broke the disc with the last episode of Season 3 on it so I just have to get through three seasons and then there's no rush to watch them all in time. It's so good but I did watch a little too much and now all my thoughts in my head are in their accents and there's a lot of swearing going on in my brain too. Like when I'm reading this back it's like 'I miss reading blawgs.' A bit annoying, I don't understand my weird mind!
I definitely went off on a tangent there but I do have an excuse for being such a couch potato though. I got some cold thing that's gone to my chest so now I have to start IVs on Thursday even though my last dose was only just over a month ago. I usually don't care because that's just life but this is like the worst week to be ill. My CF nurse isn't there this week, my parents are away and this weekend is one I've been looking forward to for ages! It's rare that me and my two best friends all get to be together and we've had a big night out planned for ages for my friend's birthday and now I'm ruining it because I'm going to be too tired and dopey from IVs to go out properly and no cocktails for me either. I just feel so bad because it's my best mate's birthday thing and she's so nice and understanding because she's saying how we don't have to go out but still. It makes me feel so guilty when my CF affects other people, no one ever makes me feel like a burden or anything but I just think it's not fair that it should affect them too. Especially my Mum, so much of her life revolves around looking after me. I mean I'm not a baby, I can look after myself but when I'm ill like now for instance she does the big things like taking me to hospital and the little things like holding my hair back when I'm throwing up from coughing so hard (which happens like at least twice a day...noiiiiice.) She's a massive help when I'm on IVs because she'll do the night time or morning dose so I can rest. Everyone says their mum is the best but mine really is, she deserves like a trophy or something.
I've been constantly ill for a couple of months now, I mean I'm never 'well' but this is like ill ill. I feel too rubbish to do anything most days apart from all my medicines and physio plus extra to try and feel better which is really tiring and time consuming. I've decided to try and put thoughts of a job out of my head for the time being, I'm no good to any employer right now anyway because I'll just be calling in sick all the time! And I'm lucky enough to not need to worry about money because I have savings and things for rainy days such as these. I work because I want to not because I need to (so anyone that wants to think I'm being lazy or workshy or whatever can ssh because I loved having a job, even if it was just a silly part time shop thing.) Right now I need to concentrate on getting better and keeping my lungs as well as possible...my lung function has frequently been low (like between 30-40% for anyone with CF reading) and I think that with a lot of hard work I can get it back up, I mean last summer my highest was 50 something percent which was brilliant because I hadn't seen numbers like that for years! To get back to that would be amazing so that's my goal even though I don't think it'll be easy.
But aside from feeling ill I'm still feeling jolly! There's lots of good things to be happy about, like my driving lessons (even though I had to cancel this week) and my latest plan is to make Christmas cards for my Etsy store to sell for the CF Trust this year. I need to work it all out and that but I'd love to raise some awareness and money towards funding new research! I think I'll probably not blog for a week or so because IVs will most likely zombify me but I'll probably catch up on my blog reading at some point even if I feel to knackered to comment.
Until then, have a fab week!
I hope you feel better soon lovely. You'll have to arrange another night out with your girls to celebrate being well once your IVs have finished
ReplyDeleteWell that's pants, sorry that you are still not feeling that great. Watching the Sopranos will help you rest and recover nothing like a good box set. I am glad that your mum is a good support you need family when you don't feel well they know what you need and just do it. Sending you lots of
ReplyDeleteLove Lucy x
It's a shame you haven't been feeling well, I hope you see improvement soon! I know I hate having to cancel plans from not feeling well, and I get really restless from not being able to "go out" properly as well. As much as I enjoy being tucked up in bed with a TV show marathon, I also enjoy the unique energy of night life. I haven't been out in months and months and it's definitely had me down.
ReplyDeleteAnd how great are mums?! I regularly stop just to think about how fantastic mine is, the way she supports and looks after me, and then helps out everyone else all the time too. She really wants a proper going-away holiday at Christmas this year so I hope she gets to have it, she really deserves it!
Sending you HUGE get well soon vibes. You're such an inspiration Josie, not just because you have such an awesome style, but you have an amazing work ethic. It's really blatant that you want to work even though CF makes it difficult for you. I know how tough retail can be but you were such a trooper powering through your old job (even though it was definitely time to give that up and find something closer to home). I can understand why you feel like you're a burden at times, even though it's clear you aren't! I'd probably feel the same but I can see it from the other side too, if I was one of your BFFs, I'd think you were a total wally for feeling guilty about something you're helpless to control and I wouldn't mind either. ;)
ReplyDeleteTara xo
You are such an inspiration, Josie. Thank you for sharing how you've been doing lately (good and bad). We're all here for you.
ReplyDeletePS You do have an awesome mom:)
I'm so sorry you've been feeling this poorly lately, Josie :( I hope things get easier soon! I can imagine it's ridiculously frustrating but you never, ever moan about it! You seem like such a positive person :) I think Christmas cards are a great idea! I wonder if Etsy could give you some publicity if you're selling them on behalf of a charity? It might be worth a look anyway! xxx
ReplyDeleteJosie, peach, you know that your mum and friends don't give two hoots about a night out, or driving you somewhere. You are a silly so and so. Your mum is your mum. Mums are super women, it's a well known fact. And of course, while we should all be ridiculously grateful for having them by our sides, it's also a common truth that nothing could stop them being there anyway! They're just awesome. And your friends, you know the ones, the real friends that count, you can celebrate birthdays and catch ups and get togethers ANY TIME, in fact, if it's a belated gig, that's even better as it prolongs the birthdayness.
ReplyDeleteSo in short, stop being a dummy and feeling guilty. Do your thing and kick this bugs butt.
Oh, and can't wait to see your Chrimble cards!!! : D
Gem
www.fadedwindmills.com
Oh Josie, I hope you feel much better soon, I wish I lived nearer so I could come and keep you company x
ReplyDeleteWell get better soon! I know that can be a big downer especially as a blogger.
ReplyDeletehttp://abeautifulheart07.blogspot.com/
Ouch Josie! I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I understand that you may feel guilty over that and your best mate's birthday but I hope you feel great soon and maybe you girls can party hard in a couple of weeks?
ReplyDeleteI'm good, about to move to England in a month so quite thrilled and slightly scared. It's going to be the greatest experience of my life so far xxx
www.definitelymycupoftea.com
Sending lots of well wishes your way! Love love love xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear you have a support group helping you and supporting you through the sick days. I have been crazy busy and sometimes forget to spend time with my friends which I ma planning to do hopefully in a week or so Feel better
ReplyDeletexx
M
www.melissa-araujo.blogspot.com
I am soooo sorry to hear this! I HATE CF SO MUCH... It definitely comes in phases and hopefully after this course of IVs you will have a good spell. I got some super cheap headbands from Primark which help at holding the hair back with the dreaded cough/sick bursts! Hope the IVS start working their magic soon xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear you have been feeling extra crappy lately. Fingers crossed the IVs will help and you'll start feeling better ('better') soon. I totally know what you mean when you're just too exhausted and feel to ill to do anything other than netflix binge. It's OK for a day or two but then anything after that is annoying. I always miss reading blogs when I'm feeling really bad! Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way Josie! x Hayley-Eszti
ReplyDeleteAww sending you lots of love and well wishes Josie. So, so sorry it's crappy right now, it totally sucks! Hope you make a speedy recovery soon and feel tons better. I think this post reflect what a selfless, beautiful human being you are Josie; so ill and going through so much yet still only empathising with those around you and worrying about them. Your mum sounds like a total star but I bet she loves doing all she can, as much as she can because she loves YOU! The same with your friends; if they are real friends then I'm sure they'll understand and just want you to get better :)
ReplyDeleteAnd getting better is the most important target to hit! Don't you worry about stoopid peeps lovely, we all know how dedicated you were to your old job, you worked so hard there and gave one million per cent even when you weren't well. How many girls can say that? Not many I'm sure! You hold your head up high and be proud of yourself, always, I know I am!
So glad you're feeling jolly despite stuff, and can't wait to see you soon <3
Sophie | soinspo xo
Oh Josie, sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish. Your mum really does sound like superwoman! Sending you all the love I can muster. Also I am excited to see your Christmas cards :) I'm sure I'll be adding those to my Etsy basket.
ReplyDeletewww.catsincroptops.blogspot.co.uk
aw hope you're making a speedy recovery :( looks like you have Freddy there to look after you though! your mum sounds like a star :)
ReplyDeleteYou might have already seen it but Orange is the New Black is SO GOOD and one of those box sets where you really need to watch one after the other so I recommend that if you haven't already :) xx
Hope you feel better soon - good luck with your health :) Freddydog is adorable x
ReplyDeletevvnightingale.blogspot.co.uk